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Effective Empathy: The Secret of Minimizing School Board Conflict


There are more than 14,000 public school districts and 70,000 school board members in the United States. Most school board members and administrators try to do everything that they can to improve the quality of education provided to students in their district. They are focused on setting effective policy, approving an appropriate budget and hiring the best superintendent possible. However, some school boards are handicapped by conflict. They suffer from public and private disagreements, constant bickering, holding grudges and arguing frequently. Research suggests that public school boards in conflict ignore many of the needs of the district they are supposed to be leading. Unhealthy school board relationships lead to ineffective policies, mediocre administrative leadership, inadequate teaching and poor student academic performance.

School board and administrator conflict comes about because of the inability or reluctance of members to reach an agreement about controversial issues based on an understanding of each other’s perspectives. School board members frequently fight about board leadership roles and responsibilities, committee assignments, school budgets, curriculum, facility issues, community involvement, programs, policies and local politics. The personal “baggage” between school board members and administrators can prevent board members from ensure that the district they lead provides a thorough and efficient education to the enrolled students. The only way to address this type of conflict is to use an approach to conflict resolution that I call “Effective Empathy.”  

Empathy Overview
Empathy is one of the most important school leadership skills because it is the foundation of leadership and district success in today’s complex world of public education. Individuals with the skill of empathy know how to anticipate and meet the needs of other board members, administrators, teachers, students, community members and politicians. I define the word “Empathy” in the context of school boards as “the ability of school board members to understand other board members and administrator’s feelings, experiences and influences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation.”

School board members and administrators who are empathetic have a more refined understanding of the perspectives of others. However, there are different levels of empathy. Some people understand the perspectives of others however they act in a way that benefits themselves and ignores the viewpoint of others. I call this “Ineffective Empathy” because it can potentially exacerbate school district conflict. This leadership style is particularly damaging because it often establishes an unhealthy culture throughout an entire public school district. In contrast, “Effective Empathy,” in the context of a school board, is the process of “understanding other’s feelings and recommending solutions to challenges that are beneficial to both individuals involved in conflicts or disagreements.” School board members and administrators demonstrating Effective Empathy work more collaboratively with others, are more engaged in their job, become more successful leaders and minimize school district conflict.

Need for Empathy Training and Coaching
How do you help school board members and administrators change their perspective from one of Ineffective Empathy to Effective Empathy? Some people do not believe that empathy can be taught. However, in writing my book Intelligent Influence: The 4 Steps of Highly Successful Leaders and Organizations, I discovered that the secret of teaching empathy is helping people understand the role of influence in every person’s perspective and behavior. All people are a product of their influences. Their language, accent, culture, favorite music, preferred sports teams, political beliefs, etc. are developed from the many different influences in their life. People do what they do, think the way they think and accomplish what they accomplish because of influence.

All school district conflicts are caused by the different influences and perspectives in the lives of each person in the disagreement. Once people understand that their differences are rooted in their influences, the conflict becomes much less personal. The skill of empathy can only be developed when a person understands how their own influences relate to other people’s influences. I developed the Effective Empathy training program (for multiple people) and coaching program (for individuals) to help people, especially school district leaders, through this empathy growth process.

The Effective Empathy training and coaching program teaches school district leaders how to communicate and work more effectively with each other. In addition, it helps leaders become more successful in working together, setting effective policies, approving an appropriate budget and hiring and evaluating a successful superintendent. Too many school board members and administrators utilize an Ineffective Empathy approach that causes tremendous conflict within a school district. The Effective Empathy training and coaching is successful with school boards and administrators because it utilizes four powerful steps that apply to individuals in any organization in any part of the world.

Effective Empathy Training and Coaching Steps
Step 1: The first step in the training and coaching process is called “Empathy Awareness.” Many school board members and administrators are not aware of their personal influences and do not understand why they do what they do. If they are not aware of their personal influences and perspectives they will never be able to work effectively with other people who have very different influences. In this section of the training or coaching, we help school board members and administrators uncover their personal influences and learn how to develop a healthy “Self-Empathy.” This self-awareness is the foundation of the process of enhancing a person’s ability to empathize with others.

Step 2: The second step of the process is called “Empathy Impact” where we identify the areas where the school board member’s influences have made them empathetic or insensitive to different people or situations. We discuss participant’s empathy strengths and weaknesses and the impact that they have on other board members, administrators, teachers, students, community members and the school district as a whole. This step helps to uncover the influenced-based root of the conflicts between school board members.

Step 3: The third step of the process is called “Empathy Management” where we teach the school board members how to enhance their empathy skills based on our findings in Step 2 of the process. We develop specific customized strategies to help board members reduce conflict by overcoming their empathy weaknesses and building on their empathy strengths. This includes establishing a growth mindset, enhancing trust between family members, initiating crucial conversations and frequently following restorative justice principles.

Step 4: The fourth step in the process is called “Empathy Maximization” where we teach school board members how to work more collaboratively with others and maximize the effectiveness of their empathy skills in the school district. We utilize real life scenarios, videos and role play to help school board members develop and enhance their Effective Empathy skills in a way that will be beneficial to their fellow board members, administrators, teachers, students, parents, community members and politicians. It is important to note that it is not essential for school board members to like each other to work together effectively. The Effective Empathy training and coaching process is unique because it enables people who do not like each other to work together for the benefit of the students in their district.

Contact Information
The Effective Empathy training and coaching will help school board members not only work through conflicts, it will provide valuable leadership skills to every participant. It is essential for public school districts to implement an Effective Empathy culture to ensure that they can provide the most thorough and efficient education possible. If you would like more information about our Effective Empathy training and coaching program please contact Dr. Dale Caldwell at Strategic Influence LLC by phone at (800) 838-8414 or by email at DCaldwell@StrategicInfluence.consulting.

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